Body Positivity & Me

Body Positivity & Me

"Be you. Be real. Be authentic. Be your favourite kind of (wo)man." - Ashley Graham

My Own Journey

Just like every single man and woman on this earth, I have always been a bit insecure about my body and appearance. And my story is as unique as any other person. My insecurities started as I started developing quite early into womanhood. I had breasts at the age of eleven- As you can already tell, I got many unwanted looks and compliments, and still do to this day. My figure developed even quicker in my early teenage years, and I became a bit insecure about my shape: I am quite curvy but not thin or fat, I have a small waist with large breasts, with reasonably sized thighs and thinner legs. My stomach is not exactly flat, either. But what was always an issue for me, was my arms. I would always tell myself that if my arms were a bit thinner, then I would be much happier, and more comfortable in my own skin. For years, I gradually started eating much healthier, became more active and worked so hard to get my body into my own desirable shape.

I guess I never wanted to look exactly like anyone else: I just wanted to be a better, more improved version of me. I knew what the ideal beauty standards were for young women my age: curvy, yet athletic, big butt, plump lips and a little taller than average. But I never strived to be like these women. The thing is, I have always accepted my shape. I was almost destined to be a curvaceous girl, no matter how much weight I lose. I will always have the large chest, and bigger-than-average arms. But that doesn't mean I always embrace it. When I shop for clothes, I steer very much away from anything that will enhance my cleavage, shirts without sleeves, and any pair of non-high waisted jeans. My wardrobe consists of mostly black, navy or dark coloured clothing, to conceal any bits of belly or back fat. When shopping for debs dresses, I distinctly remember trying on several gowns in Dublin city centre one day with my mam. I grabbed any dress I could find in navy or royal blue, and fled to the dressing rooms.

After three months of solid home work-outs and losing a few extra pounds and inches, I felt an array of confidence I have never felt before. I looked in the mirror, and saw me, wearing this navy bodycon gown, with a cut-out at the cleavage, surrounded by floral patterns. And I looked beautiful. And it was very unusual seeing myself 'dress for my figure.' The dress enhanced my hips, my waist and my chest. But I didn't look cheap or even large, for that matter. Nothing was even popping out, much to my surprise and overwhelming content. And the most important note: there were no sleeves whatsoever. Nonetheless, I looked elegant (and sexy!). I truly felt as if I was ready to walk down the red carpet. I did have a bit of anxiety in the days leading up to the debs. "What if people look at me funny?" "What will they think of my big arms? Will they laugh?" "Everyone's going to stare at my chest aren't they? Well, maybe I'll get a free drink out of it." I tried making as many jokes as I could to remind myself how silly my assumptions were. But once I entered the ball, all of my fears went out of the window completely. As if the dress was some sort of miracle worker that shifted any fears I had about my body. Or maybe it was the amazing friends I had around me to distract me. Or perhaps, it was the many, many drinks I had in the space of twelve hours.

I've decided to say "FUCK IT" to all that stands in my way. Whether it's my depression or anxiety kicking in when it's not wanted, whether it's horrible people treating me in ways I do not deserve, or whether it's my own overthinking when it comes to my appearance. I have become much better at accepting me for who I am, flaws and all, and have become much better at laughing at myself when I make mistakes rather than kicking myself about over them. The thing is, the world is a cruel and horrible place filled with people of ridicule and judgement. If we can begin to let go sometimes, and stop being so hard on ourselves, then that eliminates one person at a time, doesn't it? It's easier said than done to love ourselves inside and out. I, for one, like myself very much for who I am. I'm at that point in my life now, where if I had the choice to switch lives with anyone, I will always stick by my own side. Someone has to look out for you in the end when there's no one left around you.

Look, everyone is beautiful in their own way because beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. There will always be someone out there that thinks you're pretty damn hot. And you may just be very surprised. It doesn't matter how big or small you are, as long as you are healthy and happy from the inside out. Fuck the haters' opinions, and just be you. To all my fellow ladies, and to all the men out there, especially: Love your body. Love your mind. Love your soul and your heart. Love and live and breathe the air around you. Life is very short so don't waste time becoming someone you are not. Embrace what you have that others may not, and become one with the world. Because you're fine as hell.

Love to all,

Danya x