Mid-Year Beginnings

Mid-Year Beginnings

At the beginning of the year, I made a promise to myself that I would invest as much time and effort possible towards my wellbeing, and while continuing to help others, I have also learned to take steps back from time to time and be a little more selfish- this I did in small amounts.I began to recognise who and what was poisoning my profound positive aspect of the world. I distanced myself from those who did not give me the time of day, I began speaking up for myself when situations progressed further to the point where I was terrified to go outside and be confronted with those negative people.

I started to develop a new sense of freedom in myself and my confidence the moment I stopped comparing myself to others- rather than trying to change, I simply began to improve little things I did not like about myself, like my body. As a young curvy woman, I found it difficult to find clothes that suited my shape. And when I did, I was afraid of conveying that part of me to the world. I picked back up my workout regime, and became stricter on my diet. However, not only for the purpose of my figure. I wanted to feel good on the inside, as well as feeling good on the outside.

I took my mother's advice: "Anytime something bad happens, or you hear something that you don't like, just say 'I don't give a fuck'." (I've been working on this method for about two years now, and believe me it works). I became so fed up with all of the shit I had to go through, that I was physically and mentally exhausted. I did not have the energy to worry in the slightest. Even though to this day, I would consider myself quite the worrier, I never forget those wise words as taught to me since I was little and I try my best to infiltrate this method into every decision I make. I realised that my life truly did shift in the best way the moment I began to step back every once in a while, and ask myself; "Do I really give a fuck, though?" "Will this really be worth worrying about later?" "I could easily put this energy into a bucket of popcorn, some minstrels, a glass of wine and a movie. Could definitely do with that right about now." "I miss my dog."

I feel happy and confident in myself more and more as each day passes. And I look forward to these new experiences ahead of me. After the profound stress of the leaving cert, and juggling my own mental health issues and constant isolation in University, I managed to find good people to be around. I found new events to look forward to. And I even found a new love for legal studies: something I was not expecting to fall so hard for. And now, I am entering the new semester with a different degree. By the end of my four years, when I graduate, I will finally be able to follow my dream in life, simply to help others.

I hope that by starting this blog, I can continue this dream on a smaller scale. I know that there are others out there just like me. None of us ever know exactly with path we will take in life, but that's the fun part of it. We can talk about our dreams, fears and anxieties. We can fight for those who are scared, agitated or alone. We can change the world, one word at a time, if you are willing to fight for it.

Love to all,

Danya x